More Projects

The biggest news in the Smith household is that we bought new furniture for the living room!
We were finally able to get rid of the old sectional that I have had for several years. It has broken down in several areas, and was just super uncomfortable. It also did not fit very well and took up a lot of space in our new home. It really opened up the layout of the living room. We have decided to keep our end tables and just gave them a new paint job to spruce them up. We are on the hunt for a new ottoman or a new coffee table, though. Out with the old, and in with the new!

We also added in some new light fixtures this week. The master bathroom upstairs had a small dinky candelabra lightbulb type of fixture that barely lit the up the room. Now we have (much to my surprise) almost Griswold style with how bright the new lights are! :-)

Old

New (also don't mind the horrible paint colors, that will be changing soon!)

New paint job on the end tables!

And new light fixtures in the hall and stairway:

new!

Old

old

It is Autumn!

This is my favorite time of year! Autumn!
I love the cooler weather (or lack there of, this year...) the changing colors, and the fun!

We decorated our front porch a little. Joe has been working diligently on the yard. I need to get some more pictures. It has changed so much even from these pictures. He has completely revamped our yard. It looks like a lush green golf course now. I get yelled at to stay off the grass, so do random squirrels. Haha.

We tore out some of the bushes and plants in the front, and plan to replant some new bulbs and plants this weekend for next year. Joe trimmed up quite a bit. We took out a small burning bush in the back yard and have worked on it. It was in way worse shape than the front, so we will have to do more work on it in the Spring. We have quite a few admirers that stop by or comment when we are outside.

I ordered two purple mums from a co-worker's daughter. They are beautiful. We bought two other mums from Lowe's. We thought they were bi-colored, and much to our surprise - they are actually tri-colored. Very pretty. Added a couple pumpkins. I found a cute solar lantern that lights up at night to place on the bench. We hung some Halloween purple and orange lights. Joe hung some fake spider webs. We were going to do more, but decided that we weren't just yet. But - Christmas - ITS ON! :-)

I have been pretty busy working on little projects around the house, or for the house.

Mostly, I have been working on the living room. We are on the hunt for a new living room set. My huge sectional that we have now, just doesn't really fit. It's too big, and I have had it a few years and it has broken down in some spots. We want a more open feel to the living room so looking for either a love seat, or smaller sofa set. We are also going to get a new tv that mounts on the wall.

I found a really cute cabinet for dvds to go under the tv that I have been refinishing. I paid $20 for this gem on a facebook swap shop. I am still working on it, because it has been a long process and we don't have the new tv just yet. This is the before pictures. I didn't take a picture of the doors to it. I will before I start on them.

I had a mirror that I had put stickers and mod podge on years ago, it looked kind of silly. It was black, I had painted it silver in spots to make it look older. I thought it looked pretty neat years ago... not so much anymore. I redid it - took the stickers off and removed the mod podge and painted it a bronze/metallic brown color. Before and after photos. 

There are two candle holders I had from years ago too, I decided to paint them and give them a new feel. They were previously an off white color. I painted them a rose gold color. Before/After photos.

And the last project that I complete was the shutters on the bookcase. The previous owners created an in wall bookcase and with the wall mounted tv, decided to make a place where you could put your dvd player, dvr/cable boxes and hide all the cables behind doors/shutters. Which is super cute. However, I cannot stand the brick red color. So it had to go :-) Before/After photos

I still have plenty of projects that I am working on. Joe has a few of his own, too. I will try to keep this more updated. 

I'm not a very good blogger

I often forget to keep up with the blog. Oops.

I read over some of my past blog entries, and wow - there's so much of my life that has actually been left out. How much of my life has actually changed since I first started this blog.

I will try to shorten it down to a few paragraphs. I was married in 2009. My (now ex) husband cheated on me multiple times, got a girl pregnant - the child was born two days before we got married. He cheated on me several times after that, and supposedly got someone else pregnant. Fast forward to 2012. We were having a lot of issues. He didn't like to work, he job jumped a lot. He didn't like to help pay bills. A lot of responsibility was left on me. We fought a lot. He was going out to the casinos while I worked overnights (and probably out with other girls at this time, too). He started not coming home and supposedly spending the night at his sister in law's house a lot. It just got to be too much. I told him that it wasn't working for me anymore. I asked him to move out. While he was living at his Dad's we were still talking and attempting to fix things, talking about going to marriage counseling, etc. I found out about the child. I even still tried to make things work. But, he was still lying and going behind my back. I decided to end it for good. I ended up losing my job at a sleep lab at the time. I took on a contract data entry job at Sprint for awhile. Got an apartment of my own in Missouri. We didn't actually get a divorce until 2014. (A lot of people don't know about that). Divorces and lawyers are expensive. When I lost my job and took on a contract job, my wages were basically cut in half. Rent was much more expensive in Missouri also.

I had several short horrible relationships. One lasted a little over a year. It was immediately after I split up with my ex-husband. Which wasn't smart. I wasn't ready for a relationship. BUT, it also taught me that there are guys that actually do pay bills and take care of things. Fast forward a few more crappy relationships, I dated someone off and on a few times. Not really sure why it didn't work out the first like 3 times, but it makes sense now - because we have a really solid and mature relationship now. He is an amazing person. He helps me take care of bills, he splits responsibilities, I never have to question his love for me, he never makes me feel like I can't trust him. He is perfect for me. He makes me laugh. Our personalities mesh well.

I applied for a part time job at another local hospital back last November. The manager told me about another position open at a local hospital that was close to where I was living. I applied for it, didn't even expect to get a call or an interview. I did. I got a call back and got the job. I started this job in January as a sleep lab manager. I work days now after working 10 years of overnights. It's been amazing. I've learned so much. I've had more opportunities with this company. They have crosstrained me into EEG. My resume keeps on building. I make more money than I ever have. The best part is the hours. I am not micromanaged, so I basically make my own schedule which is nice. My health has improved just from changing to days.

I've lost a lot of weight. That is still a long journey. It yo-yo's. I am down 40 lbs since Dec. 2014. I've been on a few different medications. I started phentermine in March. My doctor just put me on Topiramate since I have Migraines, but it helps with weight loss also.

We just bought a house and we don't plan on getting married at least until next year so baby plans are on hold for awhile. We discussed it and because I have had infertility issues in the past and my hormones are out of wack. My doctor and I don't think I ovulate. I don't have regular periods. TMI I know. My doctor and I came to a mutual decision (with Joe of course) that I will try birth control for one year to regulate things. Then come off it and we can try to conceive. We discussed and mulled it over for awhile before deciding this was the best decision for us. We want to really focus on us and the house but also not waste time.

So that's basically my life in a nutshell right now.

We bought a house!

We are so very excited! We just bought a house!!!

We move in Labor Day weekend, best birthday present ever!

3 bedrooms. 2 bathrooms. Full basement. Garage. Big fenced in yard. A huge screened in porch/sunroom. Has a cute porch in front. Lots of landscaping that Joe will love to keep up. He loves doing yard work and making it look nice (and he is good at it!).

We will have to re-do the bathroom upstairs in the master bedroom, which we are kinda excited about too. I will have an awesome adjacent room to the master bedroom for a walk in closet/sitting room where I will keep a vanity.
The screened in porch has kitty doors if we would like to use them.


I cannot wait to decorate and get new furniture! My sofa is broken down some and needs updated. I have a small kitchen table - it has a huge dining room and kitchen so we will have to get a bigger table so we can invite people over!

Some of the rooms have already been painted. I would like a different color in the kitchen and bathroom downstairs. But we are ready to do projects and make this OUR home.

Vacation pictures! I did not want to come home!

Rainy Days

It has been rain, rain, and more rain for the last few weeks. I miss the sunshine! I ran across this little quote, it made me laugh. There is so much truth in this!

I am going on now 2 weeks without Facebook. There's been a few moments when I've been bored and thought about re-activating it, but then would talk myself out of it. I am going to try to go for a month. I have been "soul-cleansing" lately, and deactivating facebook was a huge part of it.

I also have started standing up for myself again. The old Kami is coming around again. I've let too many people treat me as a doormat for too long. It has definitely ruffled some feathers. I also probably said a little more than I should have when I was being honest with a friend. I may have possibly ended that friendship. In reality, I really do care about them as a person. But it has become very hard to stand by idly watching them be sucked into a dark hole. I've tried talking to them, I've tried helping them, I've tried cut tooth honesty (recently). Which did not sit well, and I have not heard from them since. The negativity and drama is emotionally draining, and it is hard to be there for them but not get sucked into it, as well. I am super guilty of carrying others' emotional baggage and am trying to change how I am. 

Finished the dresser completely, it turned out so nice. I am quite impressed with myself (with Joe's help.) It has been very therapeutic to paint, I have definitely missed it. 

I now have a set up night stands to work on next :-)

This weekend went by way too fast. Joe and I went to my Mother's Friday. We stayed overnight. This was the first time they had met each other. It went well. He made her laugh a few times, so I think he's made a good impression. We did a little shopping Saturday morning and went to Princeton to eat. We then stopped by to see my Grandmother. She has Alzheimers and dementia, but Saturday was a good day besides a little confusion on the day and then she was laughing and joking around. I don't get up there near enough to see my family. 

Saturday night, we got home around 8pm. Picked up a few items to make Tacos while Joe finished working on his Psychology paper. We then watched a few episodes of Orange is the New Black. I haven't finished Season 2 yet. Joe is ready to watch Season 3, so he is suffering through episodes he has already seen. I am also all the way caught up. Sunday, I did a little house work. Took Joe home. Watched more OITNB and caught up on some reading. It was a nice weekend. 

This week will be pretty busy. I am hoping that it goes well. We are awaiting Joint Commission at work, so been a lot of preparation for their arrival. Hopefully, we will do well. 

Weekend Recap 06.08

Had a pretty good weekend. It is officially summer in Kansas City. We had over 80 degree temps all weekend and lots of rain, too, of course. I got a little too much sun on Saturday, but maybe that will end up being a nice tan on a pale white girl ;-)

Friday was pretty easy going. Hung out with Joe all weekend. We went to Wal-Mart and got some groceries and what not. You know you're getting old when the highlight of your Friday is going to the store, haha. I despise going to Wal-Mart. The ones closest to my house are always extremely busy and crowded. I try to avoid it if at all possible. It was surprisingly not too bad on Friday. Plus, I wasn't rushed or needed to be anywhere either, so that kind of worked out well.

I have been working on re-doing a dresser I found on a facebook swap shop a few months ago. I paid about $40 for a dresser/mirror combo. It sat in the guest room for about 4 months. The guest room was extremely packed with tubs and boxes that I just hadn't gone through from previous places I've lived. I was harboring items for years thinking that I would eventually move into a house again. I have decided depending on how things go, I may renew my lease when it comes up for my current place. Then start looking for a house, we shall see how that plays out. Anyway, back to the dresser. It is extremely heavy, so I wasn't able to move it by myself too easily. I decluttered a lot of my place, took boxes and tubs to my basement storage area, sold some items and clothing, and the room is basically empty now! Joe helped me paint and refinish the dresser. I got a little artsy crafty on a couple pieces. I originally wanted to paint it matte black and then put a damask design in glossy black. I opted for a muted dark gray color. It came out a little lighter than anticipated, but I am pleased with it. I did purple accents and got new hardware for the drawers and door. I created a design on the door and painted the inside of the door/shelf purple.

The original dresser. It is a Kathy Ireland piece. A very light wood with beige/ivory color, very pale pink and blue flower decoration painted in places, and yellow and gold hardware. Definitely dated! 

the before and after (minus the mirror and door attached. I am still working on those pieces. Finished painted the middle door box area purple, attached the new hardware (silver and black). 

The mirror. I have to clean it up, add the design to the top middle of the mirror and attach it. 

Overall, I am very happy with how it turned out. Once it's complete I will add a picture of the entire piece. I have to finish up a few things, but it has already been moved into the bedroom. 

I also went through my closet this weekend and removed articles of clothing that I don't feel like I will wear any time soon. I weeded out Winter items to be stored for now. I also organized it so that all my work clothes are together, casual clothes, sweaters,hoodies,jackets, and then dressers are all in their own areas. I also now have a floor to my closet! Which now house all my shoes. 

I don't know why I wait so long to really "move in" any more. I guess because I was moving more than I cared to over the last few years, and never really felt at home. I really enjoy this apartment mostly, there is a ton of storage space, it's very cozy but roomy. I finally have decorated it well. I am just waiting on the guestroom. I am looking for a bed for it, and then I will decorate it accordingly. Not in a big hurry for that, since it will be quite expensive. I would really like to make a few changes if I stay another year if I am able. I don't want to take on too much, though. 

I also tried a new recipe on Saturday. Hawaiian Chicken kebabs. Bought Lawry's Hawaiian marinade and marinated chicken breast chunk slices overnight. Cut up pineapple, red/yellow/green peppers, and a red onion in chunks. Took everything over to Joe's House so that he could mow the yard while I prepped everything. Soaked wooden skewers for about 15 minutes. Then assembled the kebabs. We put them on the bbq grill for a little less than 10 minutes. It was the most delicious meal. Very healthy also. Definitely going to have to make them again soon. I can also say this was the first time, I ever actually saw a real pineapple cut and removed. That's probably so sad, but it was cool. I picked a couple of good ones, so it turned out great. 

As for the eating healthy part, I am really trying hard. I gave up most sugars. I don't eat candy or snacks that are loaded with sugar. I try to stick to fresh veggies or fruits. I am down to drinking mostly all water. I did have some unsweet tea that I filled about half of the cup, and filled the rest with ice and water. I am really getting better at it. The other big improvement is actually getting up in time to eat breakfast. I have found that has made a huge difference for me. I usually eat some fruit or yogurt. I have also had one lean pocket on some days. It seems to balance out my sugar levels more, and I seem to be more productive. Especially now that I am working day hours, it has been a huge adjustment. I am down another 5 lbs this week. Which I was not expecting. Clothes are starting to fit differently. Some are way too big now! Exactly what I am wanting :-)

Sunday was mostly just chill day. Re-organized the bathroom and tossed out a bunch of older unused products. I did laundry, and changed sheets on the bed. I finished up painting the dresser door, just have to put the final protective coat on and attach it! It was a great weekend overall, but also relaxed. 

Inner Struggle

I have always been a bigger girl as far as I can remember. I think maybe under the age of 4 - I was probably normal for my age, then I got chubby. Chubby turned to gaining weight. In turn is now FAT. I used to take offense to the word fat. I am sure it all depends on how someone uses the word and what their tone of voice or intentions are. But - I am Fat. Always have been. I made attempts to lose weight before, and I succeeded, but I've yo-yo'ed for years. Just before my marriage ended, I was at the highest weight I had ever been. I weighed about 320 lbs in 2012. I lost quite a bit of weight over the summer of 2012, mostly diet changes and depression.

Here it is 2015 - I was at a plateau but wasn't really interested in any real attempts to change my weight. I've always dreamed of becoming a mother someday. After years of struggling with infertility, my marriage ended due to infidelity. It absolutely broke my heart to go through all the struggles I had to find that he had impregnated someone else and kept it a secret. Even after I found out, I tried to make it work for a few more months... he remained unfaithful and would lie to me. I decided to walk away for good. While that was probably the best thing I could have ever done, it was also the most devastating. I kind of gave up the dream of ever getting married again and becoming a mother. I've dated here and there, even had a few serious relationships but nothing came of them. I decided earlier this year that I was going to start living for me. Doing what was best for me. and that meant to really take charge of my own health.

I was diagnosed several years ago with PCOS. It made it difficult to lose weight, or to even really be normal. I was also diagnosed with Narcolepsy, several years ago. I worked overnights as a sleep technician myself for about 10 years. It seemed to work out for me to work 3-4 nights a week, but I slept all the time. I was completely drowning in depression, anxiety, and lost my zest for life. I made the switch to a day-time position, and that has improved much of my life. With the combination of health changes, losing weight, and transition to normal "daywalker" status, I feel better than I have in a really long time. I sleep better. I function better. I've become a happier person. I have more energy to do more things, I am able to be more active. A lot of things in life have improved this year.

My doctor put me on Phentermine after we discussed a few options and what was expected of me while on this medication. It is meant to be short term, and then we will re-evaluate. It has made a huge difference. I've used education to read more labels, to count calories or at least document them so I am aware of them, and to try to eat more healthy overall. The biggest struggle with eating healthy, meant to actually eat! I was so used to working overnights, that I forgot what real meal times were. I often only ate a meal at work and snacks throughout the night. I didn't consistently eat 3-5 meals a day. I went for convenience, mostly prepackaged or fast food. I meal plan and prep more now. I don't totally deprive myself, which is also very helpful. I've replaced cravings with what I am lacking and it helps. I don't drink soda at all anymore, if I do - its pretty rare. I have cut out most candies and sweets, and sweet drinks. I try to go walking 3-4 times a week. I stay more active than I ever have. I have lost about 15 pounds total since I have been on Phentermine. I didn't stay with it consistently at first, and after talking to the doctor (and being reprimanded, haha) I am back on board full force and I am doing much better.

I deactivated my Facebook. That was a huge step for me. I felt like I was just watching my life pass me by. I was too involved and worried about everyone else and what was on Facebook instead of actually reaching out to friends and family. Force myself to get out more and actually go see my friends and do things! It was a little difficult at first. Facebook is the go to when you are bored, not busy, and just wanting interaction. I don't know how long I'll be doing it, but I made a commitment to try for at least a week and then re-evaluate. So far, I am really enjoying it! I may not go back.

The dating world is absolutely ridiculous. Finding someone who is on your level and gets you shouldn't be so hard, should it? I have had a few serious relationships since my divorce. I am realizing that it's easy to get caught up in it, and that you should focus on your goals and what you want from life and look for the same in a partner. I was actually engaged at the end of December. That relationship did not work out. I can't deal with people that feel the need to lie all the time. Where's your sense of true self when you are pretending to be someone or something that you are not? It is sad, really. But that is definitely in the past. I dated someone a few times before, and we are in a relationship now. It is going surprisingly well, and for the first time, I am actually just going with the flow and not trying to rush anything. He has been a rock for me. I can talk to him about whatever I am feeling and he doesn't run away. I don't second guess anything he is doing. I trust him 100%. I haven't felt this sense of security since way before my ex husband. It's insane. He makes me laugh endlessly, but also knows when to keep it straight with me. I like it.

The new job has been quite the transition, I do still struggle with waking up early mornings and going to bed early. It has gotten better over the last few months. There are days where it's not exactly my favorite thing to do. I have a lot of freedom, which is nice. I also have deadlines and priorities, as well. Luckily, I have a great management staff and it actually feels like family here.

I am excited to see what the future has in store for me. It can only really get better from here.

New Beginnings... once again.

I've been making a lot of changes to my life, recently. The biggest change for me was to delete negativity and toxicity. I started spending less time and talking less to those that brought negativity, toxicity, and drama to my life. There's no need for that kind of thing. I want to have complete happiness in my life - and that starts with ME. I deleted my Facebook account. I was constantly checking it, engaging in it much less than I engage with others around me.

For the most part, I feel like I am very self - aware. It took me awhile find  myself. True happiness is not dependent on another person, only you can provide that for yourself... so that is what this new journey is all about.

For years, I felt like I was happy. I became someone that I wasn't very proud of. Everyone makes mistakes in life, and mine were really starting to bite me in the ass. Things certainly didn't change overnight, and they most certainly won't again. That's okay, that is where you find your own growth.

I want to really be able to be open with myself and my thoughts and emotions again. This is a good starting place.