We have a lot to be thankful for in the Wickam household. Sometimes, it is hard to remember to be thankful for everything. We have been blessed with a great family that is there for us when we need them the most. We are blessed with great friends to share our time with. We are blessed to have a roof over our heads and great paying jobs.
Be happy with what you have right? We still long for a baby, a house of our own, and for life to be a little easier. Who doesn't have a wish list?
I always get a little anxiety around this time of year, because Thanksgiving holds a huge memory in my life. I'm not sure if I'd call it bad, but it's definitely not a great memory.
Coming home for Thanksgiving to find my parent's home a little out of order. A moved coffee table, things on the floor, a pan on the stove with food in it... all just a little out of the ordinary. My parents were nowhere to be found. No calls, no answers on cell phones, called family members, no one knew...
My dad had been taken to the emergency room for coughing up large amounts of blood, I think we had already been told he could possibly have cancer at this point, but to be honest - it's a blur. My dad was then taken to ICU in St. Joseph at Heartland Medical from Harrison County ER. Thanksgiving wasn't so awesome that year.
I suppose I also get a little anxiety about holidays, money, stress, family. It's all a part of it.
We are starting to get our routine down, once children come into the picture that all may change. I don't even really care about the gifts anymore, although, I do enjoy seeing the little ones open up present. It's about spending time together and enjoying the holiday as a family.
My side of the family has a hard time getting together for the holidays. My immediate family makes plans after January - because it's easier, closer to birthdays, and not rushed and stressful. We are able to take more time off work, cheaper flights or hotel deals, etc. We prefer it that way.
I do miss the holiday traditions, though. We don't have those so much anymore.
I suppose that's just something we have to learn to make ourselves or get over it.
One tradition I've made for myself, is Christmas/Holiday cards. I enjoy writing in them and sending them out. I love receiving them in my mailbox, too. I've done this ever since I've really been out living on my own (without a roommate) and make an even bigger deal out of it now that J.R. and I are together. We have done this every year we have been together. We try to include pictures, but I was kind of late with that this year, so I'm not sure if I'll have the pictures back in time. I hope anyway!
What are your family traditions over the years? Have they changed? Have you made new traditions for yourself and your immediate family?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Vent
I am filled with mixed emotions right now. Yesterday was a pretty rough day, and I'm not so sure the rest of this week will get better.
JR's Grandma Rose is in the hospital. She recently moved to a new retirement apartment in Lenexa. She has Alzheimer's and was declining rapidly. Her son, Danny shared a house with her. He had a series of strokes and was put in the hospital and a rehabilitation center (which conveniently is in the same retirement community as Grandma Rose). The family felt that moving her and Danny there would be best for her. Which is how we acquired the house. We were to move in and take care of it and are in the process of buying it. (We have a waiting period due to SSR and probate)
They recently found out a few weeks ago that she had skin cancer. It was several layers deep and would require surgery, but that was about all they could offer for it right now. She just retired and stopped working 3 years ago, She is 84 I believe. She had surgery Monday morning to remove the cancer. They got what they believe to be all of it, and gave her a stunning glowing report. Monday evening she had a stroke.
I don't really understand sometimes... why we have to go through the things we do just to live life. Why allow her cancer to be taken care of but yet suffer from a stroke?
She is very confused and disoriented at times, and doesn't understand why she is in the hospital. Lucidness at times lasted less than five minutes. She at one point last night, got very upset and was confused as to "why all these people were in her house and wishes everyone would leave her alone". It broke my heart to see her this way. Not to mention for my MIL who has to deal with it, and hear some of the awful things like how she doesn't love her and hates her and she is mean for doing this to her. I know it's because she is confused and isn't in her right mind, but I am sure it still hurts!
I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I feel incredibly helpless, especially for JR - He isn't one to really share his emotions and feelings much, and I know he is struggling dealing with this too.
My friend Becky (a super sweet supportive girl I've met through the nest, and was my TTC buddy) and her husband Adam are struggling with a very important decision. Becky is 20 weeks pregnant, and they recently found out they were expecting a baby girl. They have named her Addison. They also recently found out that she has a heart problem. One that doesn't offer a very high quality of life. They have to make a decision to go through with the pregnancy which could mean years of painful surgeries, poor quality of life, and heartbreak. Or to terminate the pregnancy, and suffer heartbreak of losing a little girl that they have been waiting so patiently for.
To me, that is the worst kind of decision you'd ever have to make. I can't even imagine.
My friends Bill and Tera suffered infertility for years, and were finally blessed with a baby after 7 years of trying. We are awaiting the birth of little miss Ayla Rose as we speak!
There's just so much going on in our lives right now that definitely makes me question why things are the way they are. It's also allowed for JR and I to talk openly about different situations and how we feel about them. Which is kind of nice because it puts perspective on a lot.
JR and I came up with a plan. I have been contemplating Gastric Bypass surgery for multiple reasons. Part of which because I have tried and failed miserably at losing weight, and because we also suffer from infertility. Statistics show after a year (where its the healtiest) women with infertility were able to have a chance at conceiving a child. Right now, we want nothing more than to become parents. We have discussed it, and I am going to pursue the surgery. Which means there is a long hard road ahead, and I'm just starting out, this may or may not happen for me. We have decided it would best to try and if it gave us a chance at pregnancy, then we would wait a year and a half before actively trying again. We also discussed by the age of 30, if we are unable to get pregnant, that we may look into adoption.
While I'm scared with all the challenges we face and I may face regarding weight loss surgery and health wise. I also know that something rewarding could be waiting for me.
I have such a heavy heart right now, but I know in time things are a part of a bigger plan. I'm just waiting to discovery where my place is in this and to get started.
JR's Grandma Rose is in the hospital. She recently moved to a new retirement apartment in Lenexa. She has Alzheimer's and was declining rapidly. Her son, Danny shared a house with her. He had a series of strokes and was put in the hospital and a rehabilitation center (which conveniently is in the same retirement community as Grandma Rose). The family felt that moving her and Danny there would be best for her. Which is how we acquired the house. We were to move in and take care of it and are in the process of buying it. (We have a waiting period due to SSR and probate)
They recently found out a few weeks ago that she had skin cancer. It was several layers deep and would require surgery, but that was about all they could offer for it right now. She just retired and stopped working 3 years ago, She is 84 I believe. She had surgery Monday morning to remove the cancer. They got what they believe to be all of it, and gave her a stunning glowing report. Monday evening she had a stroke.
I don't really understand sometimes... why we have to go through the things we do just to live life. Why allow her cancer to be taken care of but yet suffer from a stroke?
She is very confused and disoriented at times, and doesn't understand why she is in the hospital. Lucidness at times lasted less than five minutes. She at one point last night, got very upset and was confused as to "why all these people were in her house and wishes everyone would leave her alone". It broke my heart to see her this way. Not to mention for my MIL who has to deal with it, and hear some of the awful things like how she doesn't love her and hates her and she is mean for doing this to her. I know it's because she is confused and isn't in her right mind, but I am sure it still hurts!
I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I feel incredibly helpless, especially for JR - He isn't one to really share his emotions and feelings much, and I know he is struggling dealing with this too.
My friend Becky (a super sweet supportive girl I've met through the nest, and was my TTC buddy) and her husband Adam are struggling with a very important decision. Becky is 20 weeks pregnant, and they recently found out they were expecting a baby girl. They have named her Addison. They also recently found out that she has a heart problem. One that doesn't offer a very high quality of life. They have to make a decision to go through with the pregnancy which could mean years of painful surgeries, poor quality of life, and heartbreak. Or to terminate the pregnancy, and suffer heartbreak of losing a little girl that they have been waiting so patiently for.
To me, that is the worst kind of decision you'd ever have to make. I can't even imagine.
My friends Bill and Tera suffered infertility for years, and were finally blessed with a baby after 7 years of trying. We are awaiting the birth of little miss Ayla Rose as we speak!
There's just so much going on in our lives right now that definitely makes me question why things are the way they are. It's also allowed for JR and I to talk openly about different situations and how we feel about them. Which is kind of nice because it puts perspective on a lot.
JR and I came up with a plan. I have been contemplating Gastric Bypass surgery for multiple reasons. Part of which because I have tried and failed miserably at losing weight, and because we also suffer from infertility. Statistics show after a year (where its the healtiest) women with infertility were able to have a chance at conceiving a child. Right now, we want nothing more than to become parents. We have discussed it, and I am going to pursue the surgery. Which means there is a long hard road ahead, and I'm just starting out, this may or may not happen for me. We have decided it would best to try and if it gave us a chance at pregnancy, then we would wait a year and a half before actively trying again. We also discussed by the age of 30, if we are unable to get pregnant, that we may look into adoption.
While I'm scared with all the challenges we face and I may face regarding weight loss surgery and health wise. I also know that something rewarding could be waiting for me.
I have such a heavy heart right now, but I know in time things are a part of a bigger plan. I'm just waiting to discovery where my place is in this and to get started.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
J.R.'s Birthday
We were able to go out for J.R.'s Birthday. I talked him into to deciding to go somewhere we wouldn't normally go (mainly because we ALWAYS go to the same restaurants and it was his birthday, lets do something special!) so we went to Cinzetti's (if you aren't from KC, it's an italian buffet type). He enjoyed it, but I was rather disappointed with a few things. I am wondering if my tastebuds just aren't as good as they used to be. I told J.R. last night that I always try some of the desserts knowing that they weren't very good the last time, I guess just hoping it changes! lol. We were going to go see a movie, but the one he wanted to see didn't start til real late and he had to be up early this morning.
We had a really good talk on the way home. We came up with a plan for the next two years regarding a few specific things. I will divulge into that later. It made me really confident about life and about our marriage.
I don't really have too many plans for today, other than cleaning house. It needs it, and we are having company on Wednesday after my staff meeting. My best friend from up home is coming down with her daughter (she's about 9 months old) for a dr's appt and I invited them (and her boyfriend and his friend) over for supper. We are planning on grilling.
Thursday I am hoping to go take a look at a vehicle that I really want to buy, and hoping I am able to. We will see.
I work Thursday Night, but it should be a pretty easy night as only one patient. Then the next two days we have the annual KASP meeting for sleep technicians. (It's like a seminar thing, where people gather to "learn" more and catch up on continuing education, it'll be nice to see some faces from old employment sites that I haven't seen in awhile)
Sunday we are planning on staying at Argosy Casino's hotel. I hope to get a massage or pedicure out of this deal! lol. We got a certificate for a free room for J.R.'s birthday, sounds good to me!!
Other than that, no real big plans. I need to find my motivation so I can get this place cleaned up! Thank goodness it's not even 10 am yet.
We had a really good talk on the way home. We came up with a plan for the next two years regarding a few specific things. I will divulge into that later. It made me really confident about life and about our marriage.
I don't really have too many plans for today, other than cleaning house. It needs it, and we are having company on Wednesday after my staff meeting. My best friend from up home is coming down with her daughter (she's about 9 months old) for a dr's appt and I invited them (and her boyfriend and his friend) over for supper. We are planning on grilling.
Thursday I am hoping to go take a look at a vehicle that I really want to buy, and hoping I am able to. We will see.
I work Thursday Night, but it should be a pretty easy night as only one patient. Then the next two days we have the annual KASP meeting for sleep technicians. (It's like a seminar thing, where people gather to "learn" more and catch up on continuing education, it'll be nice to see some faces from old employment sites that I haven't seen in awhile)
Sunday we are planning on staying at Argosy Casino's hotel. I hope to get a massage or pedicure out of this deal! lol. We got a certificate for a free room for J.R.'s birthday, sounds good to me!!
Other than that, no real big plans. I need to find my motivation so I can get this place cleaned up! Thank goodness it's not even 10 am yet.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Life has so many ups and downs anymore. I think it is finally starting to fall into place for us. We are really working on a lot of different things, and life seems to be getting a little calmer.
We received news of a fantastic opportunity housing wise. We were in contract to purchase a home as of a year ago. The house had a lot of potential, but we didn't know that it had a lot of problems (or how deep the problems went). Unfortunately, the house was to be condemned by the city. (Yeah, I don't even know where to start) The living room wall had moisture in the walls (presumably from the a/c unit) in which it started to mold and cave in. We found several openings, so I think it was much deeper than just the a/c unit. The floor in the bathroom caved in, causing the toilet and tub to sink. (Yes, how awesome right) We had problems with plumbing and pipes which were fixed (supposedly) under our contract with a company. The company also ripped out walls from bathroom to guest room and did nothing to put them in order. (Which we were told they would) We have since gotten out of the contract and had the city and an attorney involved.
J.R.'s grandmother and uncle shared a house not too far from where we were living. His Uncle suffered many strokes and his grandmother had alzheimer's. Both were moved to a nursing home. The house was offered to us for free for now, (minus paying utilities/taxes/insurance) and in 4-5 years we would be allowed to purchase it.
We love this house and the yard! It has a huge fenced in yard that the dogs absolutely love! This was a great opportunity for us to save us and purchase a house.
That being said, We have so many projects that we are ready to tackle. The biggest fun has been decided to redo the kitchen.
I have started a life binder. Many of the ladies that I chat/post with on the nest, have organizational binders. I have created my own, with awesome printables from other sites. The more we dealve into the binder, I will add sites and give credit to where I got all the items from.
J.R. has been at his job now for 90 days and gets insurance this week, woohoo!
I have PASSED my registry test, so I'm officially registered and have lovely letters behind my name at work :)
That's about the exciting stuff that's going on in our worlds. I will start posting more with our projects and stuff going on, I hope.
Happy Birthday today to JR!!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Happy 2nd Anniversary to us!
Our 2nd Anniversary was on the 4th. It's hard to believe it's already been 2 years since we were married. We've definitely had a lot of ups and downs and trials and tribulations as a married couple. Everything we've been through has made us stronger, though. I'm pretty lucky to have such a wonderful husband!
We spent most of the day lounging (I worked the night before, so I slept pretty late) and then went for supper in the Power & Light District at Gordon Biersch. We decided Skies was a little too expensive this year, so opted for cheaper. We ended up spending quite a bit, but not as much as we would have at Skies. It was a pretty nice place, they have a brewery in the restaurant where they make their own beer. We had sangria (oh the irony!) I'd definitely go back!
P&L wasn't too crowded either, actually, it was pretty quiet... which was nice, I figured it'd be crazy busy as a holiday, but I guess most people probably went out of town.
http://www.gordonbiersch.com
We came home afterwards and relaxed! Nothing huge... but it was a nice quiet anniversary!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Bittersweet
Initially, I was super sad that Sadie became pregnant. I had planned on getting her fixed but thought she was too young. I let her out a couple times after she had broken her tie out and she got out of the fence multiple times.
She ended up having seven puppies (ie - past posts) and they are sooo freaking cute, but I definitely don't want that to happen again. I've got an appointment with the vet to take her in next week and hopefully we can get her fixed ASAP.
The puppies are about 5 weeks old now. She only lets them feed at night now, and it's become quite an event. She is starting to growl and snap at them. Makes me so sad. We feed them mush (puppy food and warm water), and gradually have been making it more dry every so many days. They drink water. I think they will be pretty ready to go to new homes soon.
One has already found a new home, which I am so happy about because they are cool dudes. Its just a little bittersweet to give up these beautiful babies. Unfortunately, I cannot keep 10 dogs and 2 cats. I'd love to, however, I don't think our wallets can afford it nor does my husband love that idea. I can't wait til they all get to their new homes and have wonderful families.
June has been a crazy month. New schedule at work went into place in May to make it so we're only open every other weekend. I finally was moved to the first half of the shift which means no weekends! Wooohoo! for less than a week, though. :( Then the new schedule was implemented, so not cool. I get it though, it was so the other shift doesn't have to work every Friday and Saturday. I hated it, so I totally get it. It still sucks, though.
We have had kind of a lull lately too due to marketing staffing issues. That's been fixed, and we have an awesome replacement, but we are just now getting the after effects of the previous' mistakes/faults...ie not even showing up to dr offices or actually doing any marketing. BLAH. Luckily, it's not been drastic to call us off multiple nights.
J is looking for a new job, and has a perfect prospect and has been offered a position pending background/drug check. I hope he starts soon, he seems so excited, and it will be nice for him to make more money and be happy! He seems so depressed working the other job. They aren't doing so well, and he has had some issues with things there, so on to better things!
Everything else is going as normal... nothing too exciting. We have some get togethers/reunions coming up soon, looking forward to that.
Can't wait to get back down to Houston again soon to see my favorite lil man! He is growing so much and isn't a baby anymore. Miss that little face of his. I guess I miss his parents a smidge too :-P
I need to get some new pics of the furbabies and puppies up soon!
She ended up having seven puppies (ie - past posts) and they are sooo freaking cute, but I definitely don't want that to happen again. I've got an appointment with the vet to take her in next week and hopefully we can get her fixed ASAP.
The puppies are about 5 weeks old now. She only lets them feed at night now, and it's become quite an event. She is starting to growl and snap at them. Makes me so sad. We feed them mush (puppy food and warm water), and gradually have been making it more dry every so many days. They drink water. I think they will be pretty ready to go to new homes soon.
One has already found a new home, which I am so happy about because they are cool dudes. Its just a little bittersweet to give up these beautiful babies. Unfortunately, I cannot keep 10 dogs and 2 cats. I'd love to, however, I don't think our wallets can afford it nor does my husband love that idea. I can't wait til they all get to their new homes and have wonderful families.
June has been a crazy month. New schedule at work went into place in May to make it so we're only open every other weekend. I finally was moved to the first half of the shift which means no weekends! Wooohoo! for less than a week, though. :( Then the new schedule was implemented, so not cool. I get it though, it was so the other shift doesn't have to work every Friday and Saturday. I hated it, so I totally get it. It still sucks, though.
We have had kind of a lull lately too due to marketing staffing issues. That's been fixed, and we have an awesome replacement, but we are just now getting the after effects of the previous' mistakes/faults...ie not even showing up to dr offices or actually doing any marketing. BLAH. Luckily, it's not been drastic to call us off multiple nights.
J is looking for a new job, and has a perfect prospect and has been offered a position pending background/drug check. I hope he starts soon, he seems so excited, and it will be nice for him to make more money and be happy! He seems so depressed working the other job. They aren't doing so well, and he has had some issues with things there, so on to better things!
Everything else is going as normal... nothing too exciting. We have some get togethers/reunions coming up soon, looking forward to that.
Can't wait to get back down to Houston again soon to see my favorite lil man! He is growing so much and isn't a baby anymore. Miss that little face of his. I guess I miss his parents a smidge too :-P
I need to get some new pics of the furbabies and puppies up soon!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Puppies Update
Puppies are growing fast! They have their eyes and ears open. Starting to walk around and bark and play. They are so much fun!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Craftyyyy!
I totally slacked on blogging again, but it was mostly due to not having internet at home anymore. We got internet again this week, though. We were trying to cut down on monthly payments, which included cable and internet. Things are starting to go better and we have started to save more.
Recently, I've been in a real crafty mood. I love looking at ideas and figuring out how to tweak them to my personal liking. I just need a new sewing machine! I have been keeping my eye out, and have found a couple that I'm interested in.
My recent obsessions are wordles and owl related items. Help me! We aren't even pregnant yet, and I'm already planning a nursery in my head... how goofy.
Maybe crafting will keep my mind off of it.
I am on a new schedule at work, now working the first of the week with weekends off! Woohoo, but it's been an adjustment.
I don't really have a lot to write, but I am going to try to start writing several times a week again.
Recently, I've been in a real crafty mood. I love looking at ideas and figuring out how to tweak them to my personal liking. I just need a new sewing machine! I have been keeping my eye out, and have found a couple that I'm interested in.
My recent obsessions are wordles and owl related items. Help me! We aren't even pregnant yet, and I'm already planning a nursery in my head... how goofy.
Maybe crafting will keep my mind off of it.
I am on a new schedule at work, now working the first of the week with weekends off! Woohoo, but it's been an adjustment.
I don't really have a lot to write, but I am going to try to start writing several times a week again.
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