Weekend update

For the last post, I received 50 free photo cards from Shutterfly! They turned out beautiful! I was able to address and write in them while working this week and most of them have been sent out as of this morning.

We bought a house! We signed the papers last Sunday, and have started working on it. There are several things that need changed or updated. So excited. We included a slideshow on here. Most of the pictures were taken with a cell phone, so they didn't turn out awesome. I need to take my camera over there and take more pics.

So far, we have painted and redone the living room. It looks nice, but it is super bright. I think we are going to change our decor a little.

Plumbing came out today, they are going to have to open walls and fix some pipes as there is bad pressure in the bathroom and kitchen. It goes out into the lines in the yard, galvanized. He said it would be Wednesday. Luckily, that was in our contract.

Heating also came out today, the house has a floor furnace. It stopped working yesterday and wouldn't kick on and stay on. We paid a co-pay, which is supposed to be reimbursed to us. It basically was dirty and needed cleaning out, now works fine. Mother in law and Step father in law replaced our thermostat in the house, last night. They have been a big help, especially SFIL. He has helped us paint, bug/bomb, move appliances, etc.

I tore off the wallpaper in the Master Bedroom while waiting for repair men to show. I am hoping to scrape it all down and clean good tomorrow. Hopefully, we will have it painted in the next few days.

We did go buy paint and supplies to paint front entry dining area and kitchen. It is a god awful lime green and brown right now, and that's gotta go! I chose a "apple" green which is more like a sage/celery mix. It is light/bright and airy looking, but will be more subtle than the current colors.

Hoping to also get the washer moved, (Dryer was replaced with a brand new gas dryer and already moved in) so I can at least go do laundry over there.

Front and back doors measured and ordered, waiting on those to come in.

Flooring guy is to come out this weekend or early next week.

We are going to start moving small things in after we paint and check out floors.

Whew! So much going on!

I worked earlier this week for a co-worker in exchange for her to work shifts at the end of the week. So I have seven days off, so excited to jump in and get things started on the house!

Customize a free slideshow

Ho Ho Hoooooof it on over to Shutterfly.com

Christmas time is right around the corner! Getting out decorations, setting the tree up, baking yummy delicious items, spending time with friends and family, shopping!! those are all some of my favorite things about the holiday.

Are you ready for the holiday? What are you doing to get prepared? One of my favorite traditions (so to speak) is sending out holiday cards. I've done this for years, and some of my friends get just as excited about it as I do. I look forward to this part every year!

I'm usually pretty good at picking out unique cards. Sometimes I'll even buy them on clearance and save for the next year.

We moved this year a few times, so I have no idea where those cards that I got last year are at! Ugh! So I've been on the look out for some new ones. I think my favorites are ones with photos. I love to see how everyone looks and who's grown or changed the most over the year. Photo cards are the best! http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards

Grandmothers love the calendars! http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars

We plan on buying a house in the next few weeks, so we are hoping to host a holiday party if we are moved in and ready to go in time! Are you having a holiday party this year? Use Shutterfly's beautiful invitations! http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-invitations

As you know, we are TTC. I love these holiday family cards. One of my favorites is: http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/bright-blue-snowflake-christmas-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93496
I love the picture of this little girl, so cute! I can't wait to have our own babies to take a family photo and send out to all of our friends.

6 months later...

I'm terrible at blogging, I've established this already! I can't believe it's been over 6 months since my last post. So much has changed since then!

Unfortunately, we no longer have Olivia. We rehomed her with a friend of mine. She wasn't fitting into our family well, like we hoped. She and Oliver weren't getting along, and she terrorized the cat. She also had aggression issues. We tried training, but it didn't go over well. I am happy to report, however, that she is adjusting well into her new home. She gets lots of exercise and is the only pet.

We have since adopted two other members into our household. Bennie is a black and white kitty that is about 4 months old now. Sadie is a boxer/shepard mix puppy that is 4 months old. They are fitting well into our family, and Sadie and Bennie are buddies. We adopted them about a month apart.

We are in the process of trying to purchase a home in Kansas City. It is not going as quickly as we hoped, but we are still working on it!

I have had a lot of health issues lately, but have been seeing a doctor to get everything under control. I have type 2 Diabetes, Hypothyroidism, PCOS, and high blood pressure. I went from being on no medications, to now having about 8 different pills that I take several times a day! Ugh! However, if it makes me feel better, I will not complain too much. I have been having some problems with ovarian cysts, which is not fun at all.

While working with the doctor, after many discussions, decisions, ideas... JR and I are actively TTC. We started our TTC journey officially in August. Right now, we are in the beginning stages and this is my first "coming out" announcement. I'm hoping with the medications to help health conditions will allow for us to make a family on our own. I'm currently on Metformin (for diabetes, as well as PCOS)and have looked into a few natural health options. We pray that we will be blessed in time.

Things are going really well for us right now. JR has been at Midas now almost a year, and likes working on cars. I am still a sleep technician, and will be at my job for a year in February. We are currently renting a house in Kansas City, KS. It is pretty small, but has a big back yard, and works for now. We are hoping to buy a house in the next few months.

We have had quite the journey over the last year, lots of huge changes... some good and some bad. We have become a stronger couple, and individually. I can't wait to see what else is in store for us.

Olivia

We adopted Olivia, who is 3 years old about a month and a half ago. She is a black Golden Retriever/Poodle Mix. She's really smart, and a sweetheart most of the time. She does have some aggression issues, however. Anytime she gets ahold of something she isn't supposed to have and you tell her "No" - it doesn't go over so well. We are working with making her more submissive, instead of aggressive to the point where she will nip at me. She has never nipped at JR, but I believe it is because she favors males, and must have been abused by a female before.

She is 98% of the time a very sweet, obedient dog. The biting never breaks skin, but we are not going to allow that behavior. We knew this when we brought her into our home.



I never seem to blog anymore, but I should get better at that!

Loving babies

I post regularly on thenest.com - there were a couple posts, and soon a lot of the forums were lit up with this topic.

A girl started a post about her unborn child being tested for illness/disabilities/etc. Basically, she said that if she knew her child would have Down's Syndrome, she would abort the baby. Made a lot of people upset. I won't get into the rest of it, but there was a story that was posted that really really hit me hard. I cried sooo hard, it was beautiful. In light of all the laws now being passed about abortion, I would just say - we never know what our decisions might truly be until we are faced in that situation. I just wish so many wouldn't turn to abortion and give those who cannot have children a chance to love a child that deserves parents who will love them unconditionally. We also never know what our reactions to things might be either. This story just tells about Nella's birth and how her Mom felt at the time. Nella has Down Syndrome. If you read, please prepare with several boxes of tissues!


http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html

Better.

I read my last post, and I kinda felt sad.

I'm not really at that heart wrenching, hopeless stage anymore. It's not far away, though, so I'm not out of the woods, just yet. Things are getting better. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes.

I struggle with so many things, I always felt so helpless before, but now I realize, I can't really count on any one else to make those changes. Quit your bellyachin', get off of it and bust your booty, only you can make the changes that you need.

Tonight was a sudden realization for me. Epiphany, if you will. In the back of my head, I knew there was a problem, but it hit home tonight. The mood swings are out of control. The anxiety? Through the roof. I'm literally scared to death to be in a car. Before, it was only if I wasn't in driving, I didn't have the control I needed to feel at ease. It's completely to the point now, where it doesn't matter who is driving. It's ridiculous. I need to go see someone about this, for real. I kind of laughed and joked off such a huge serious accident I was in a year ago. Made light of it, I walked away unhurt, which is a miracle. A year later? I'm freaking afraid of being in a car and traffic. It's not nearly as bad as a highway or interstate. I try to avoid those now if possible. It's not as bad if the weather is clear, also.

I tried to just make light of the situation. There's no way that this could really affect me, I made it out, that was the important part. It literally puts my stomach in knots and I freak out. How truly sad, is that? Over the course of minor things, I totally freaked out in the car when NOTHING happened. It was raining, foggy, there was still visible. I saw brake lights ahead, no where even close... and I freaked out. I cannot control it, but I try to, which I think makes it worse. What do I do about this? Hire a driver with a vehicle with a partition that is tinted as well as the windows so I can't see? Never drive again? Ugh. Where do I start? Counseling?

Maybe I've let things go too far and think I can handle it all myself. Maybe I really do need help, not just for the whole car thing, but every aspect of my life.

Starting new jobs suck, because there's the long wait for insurance (aye aye aye lets not even go there...) once that kicks in, this would be better.

I let things consume me. I can't do that anymore.

Life is... changing.

I don't know where to begin this blog. I rarely write anymore, usually it's just been a few pictures here and there. My usb cord for my camera isn't working, so no new pictures for awhile. Eventually, I'll either get a new camera or get a new cord. I saw a camera similar to mine but the newer version for a decent price last night. But, I am trying to hold on to extra monies until I get us out of the rut we are in. Moving and getting re-settled has drained everything. It's not the end of the World, and somehow we always manage to figure out a plan or make things work somehow. Just sucks most days.

I'm in a bit of a funk, that's why I decided to write. Writing usually helps.

My heart is heavy about so many things going on in my life, right now. I don't know what's the best thing to do about a lot of it. I am struggling with Faith. I am struggling with money. I am struggling with happiness. Where do I find the "good" in everything when it all seems so sour anymore? I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a roof over my head, a gorgeous house, FINALLY a job, but there is still so much that is left out there that I want to grab onto. Over the last few years, I have felt that I learned valuable lessons. Sometimes, you have to go through these struggles to really grasp onto what life means. But, I am still left empty. Explain that one. Did I make the right choices? If I didn't and I want things to change - where do I start? Why do I ask so many questions? lol. Ugh, just seems like a never ending process.

Little Miss Layla Grace. There's just so many words that I can't even begin to type that express my emotions at the moment. I have this gut-wrenching, heart breaking, overall sadness consuming me at the moment. It's the same feelings I had when my Dad was sick. The same feeling I had when Bryson was diagnosed with Leukemia. I just hate that Cancer is so evil. It takes over lives and destroys so many things in it's path. Why? Layla was a beautiful little girl that was in a little red wagon in the halls of 9th floor at TCH. Our paths crossed. Maybe for a few moments, but how much impact that little girl has had on my path is crazy. We've met so many families and little ones through Bryson's illness that are some of the most REAL, strong, faith-filled people I've ever met. To see how many lives Bryson has touched, too, is all too surreal. These children often do not even SPEAK to each other, but they have this bond that is unbreakable. Just looking into their eyes and seeing their little faces - especially the little ones that haven't even learned to talk yet - Just incredible.

My heart aches for the Marsh family. I hope that God provides the strength, faith, peace, and comfort that they need right now and for the rest of their lives.

When my father was sick, I hated hearing the "I'm sorry"s and the "if you need anything"s. No one really understands what exactly another goes through. I can say what I feel, and I can say how it affected me, but I just really can't even imagine.

I just have to remind myself that there is a lesson, yet again, in this for me. Stop taking things for granted. Be happy with what you have. Is it enough?

Layla Grace

This beautiful little girl, is named Layla Grace. She is battling Stage 4 Neuroblastoma. I met her and her family at Texas Children's Hospital while visiting my nephew, Bryson in the hospital. Bryson has Leukemia. Layla and Bryson met and become friends while on the 9th floor together. Layla needs a miracle. Her family and her need all of our prayers and love. Please take a minute to visit her website, laylagrace.org where you can read more about her. These children suffer from terrible diseases, and someday we will find a cure!

moved in!

We are officially all moved into our new house with furniture and all. What a long couple months of barely scraping by and sleeping on floors and air mattress. It was an adventure, however.

I started last week at a new sleep lab as a sleep technician again. So far, I really like the company and lab. Much different than I am used to, but that's definitely a good thing! Jr decided to stay on full time at Midas.

My classes this semester were more demanding and extensive. I'm making it through, was harder juggling with moving, work, and all. Two weeks then I start another block.

My mom is all moved up here. Seemed pretty hard for her, but none of us wanted to leave Bryson. I'm worried about him but he is doing good.

I will have more pics to post later.

Our New House!

Make a Smilebox collage

You can't wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. ~Pat Schroeder

You can't wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time. ~Pat Schroeder

How true is that statement? If someone told me, I'd be spending my new year worrying all the time or feeling sorry for myself, I would have thought they were kidding. Things are not going according to plan. I was probably silly to think that it would. The good news is - Life has a funny funny way of letting you know who is really in control. As a couple of my friends have said, you gotta go through the speedbumps to appreciate the smoother roads. I've spent entirely too much time worrying and crying, and being upset about things. Especially, when it's things that I really don't have a lot of control over. I just have to learn to do my best, take it in stride, and move on.

I'm tired of the struggle. I'm tired of feeling like life crashes every chance it gets. When is a little good going to come our way? Have I totally missed the good moments? Do I fail to see them? I think so. I just get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect, that a little disappointment is always bound to come our way, and I have to accept it and learn from those disappointments. Which is hard to do! Maybe I need a little help with that part of my life? I'm just really ready for things to turn around and go a little better. It's getting there slowly, and I must have patience.

On to better things... I did spend a pretty cool New Year's Eve with some of my closest friends. We had a lot of fun, and many good laughs.

Here's to hoping a better year!