Christmas and the festivities

J.R. and I have been back in Kansas for a few weeks, now. It definitely feels comfortable for the most part, but we really miss being in our own place. We are fortunate enough for J.R.'s Father and Stepmother to allow us to stay with them over the holidays and while we are in town to find jobs and a house.

We found a wonderful house! I am so excited about it. It's beautiful inside, and has so much space. A huge backyard for Ollie, and lots of huge window sills for Sushi to lay in and sunbathe. A nice patio to entertain when the weather is nice.

J.R. will start his new job on Monday. He will be working for Midas as a general auto service technician. He is pretty excited, Midas seems like a great company to work for. I still have a few interviews, and the job that I left to move to Texas is offerring a position back with them.

At first, things weren't going so great. We were starting to get worried if anything was going to happen, but things are slowly falling into place, now.

It just feels so good to be back in our comfort zone. I definitely didn't miss the snow and ice, but thanks to the Blizzard of '09 - ha! It wasn't all that bad. We had a snowball fight with the family on Christmas Eve. So much snow, and it was so much fun!

Christmas was nice. I was pretty depressed about everything going on, and the holidays are a reminder of what used to be. It's hard to adjust to a life without my family. I have my Mom, and my brother, Tim - but we were away from them this year. It just really sucks that since my Dad died, the whole family has fallen apart. It makes me sad, but there isn't a lot I can do to change it. J.R. has a wonderful family, and I think I've taken them for granted.

They always go out of their way to make me feel welcome, and I really do appreciate that.
The biggest event this year, was J.R.'s sister, Alicyn and her husband, Jeremy had a son in April. Henry. He is an adorable little guy! We loved spending time with him and can't wait to do more in the future. Sure makes me miss Bryson a lot, but will get to see him soon!

I didn't go to J.R.'s Mom's side of the family get together, it was pretty bad out weather wise, and thanks to the accident in Oklahoma and "side effects" from that, when there are visibility issues - I have so much anxiety. I just prefer to avoid it alltogether. The best part of being back in Kansas City is that I don't have to deal with traffic like Houston's! I know where I'm going, I don't really need the Garmin, and I don't have to worry about bumper to bumper - rushing to get ahead - close calls every time I get in my car. I love it here!

I got to spend a day of shopping and Sephora madness with my BFF's! Oh, how I missed them! They are two wonderful ladies, and I am glad to call them my friends.

Well, It's Official...

J.R. and I have decided to move back to Kansas. We are leaving next week to stay at his Dad and StepMom's house for a few weeks. We are going to check out some houses and hopefully find a great one! We are also applying for jobs already, but will be able to interview for the positions while in town. We will then move the rest of the house at a later date. I cannot really express how emotional this decision has been. I have honestly contemplated every angle of this decision possible, but feel that we have to make the best decision for our own little family. Texas is beautiful, but it just isn't home. I miss that familiar feeling, I miss friends and family. While, we've created a life here for us, it just isn't the same. We gave it a go, and things just didn't work out. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. I was laid-off, but it isn't the end of the world. Some days, it sure felt like it! What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, right?!



I'm so excited about Christmas. It snowed today in Houston, too. That just makes the spirit even more present. We decorated a couple nights ago, but haven't really got everything up. I didn't want to put up all the lights, if we aren't going to be here in the next few weeks.


I'm excited about finding the perfect house. I'm excited about it being OURS. I've never felt totally comfortable here, and it has nothing to do with anyone else living here. I think it was because it was all just unfamiliar. It never felt like home. I can't imagine ever going back to apartment living, and I really hope that we don't have to, but I know that things might be a little crappier before they truly get better upon the move.

My first semester college round two is almost over. So far, I have an A in one class and B in the other. I kinda felt that they were both dumb classes, but I've actually learned a lot from them both. I am excited that the semester is pretty much over, though! I just wonder how long of a break we'll actually get. It's definitely easier when working nights. Working days and trying to juggle school at the same time, pretty much sucks! It sounds so dumb, but it feels like there are more hours to do stuff when you work nights and get more time off to get things done.

I hope this week flies by, and we're back in Kansas before we know it. I should go ahead and start packing now, as I'm a huge procrastinator. :)

Thyroid conditions, lay offs, doctor appointments, the holidays...

What a wild last few weeks it's been. Lots happening around here.

Unfortunately, the company I was working for decided to close all the labs and offices in the south Texas region. Therefore, a layoff was implemented, in which I was included. I guess I should have seen it coming with all the financial issues we were having, and going weeks without paychecks. I was promoted two weeks prior to this layoff/closing, to a DME specialist. To help sort things out in the Sugar Land office and get it back on it's feet. I got the OK to order masks and start bringing in patients to set them up with their cpap masks and machines. I don't understand it all, to be honest. The idea of closing could not have been a split second decision. If it wasn't - then why did they decide to let me order masks or talk about laundry billing, etc. I wouldn't have gone to all that trouble for nothing. I was crushed. I was pissed. Now, it just sorta seems to be a blessing in disguise.

Texas is not home. We moved here to help out with Bryson, and be close to my family. Big jobs with big pay and a new house... all that just doesn't seem worth it when you're not happy. I love my nephew to pieces and I would do anything for that kid. But - I think the best decision for J.R. and I is to move back to Kansas. We can still come visit and be here for Bryson. We don't have many friends here and I miss my friends from home so badly... I miss being able to hang out with them and to call them up and really be there for each other. We don't really do anything, traffic is so bad that I can't really even go outside our little area without major anxiety (Thanks to the 7 car fire pile up in Oklahoma in March 09)... Its just not all worth it anymore. It makes me sad that we have to leave and give up, but I know being back in Kansas is where we're supposed to be. That's where we're both happy. I miss my friends, I miss my old life and the comforts I had there. I don't know how it's going to go just yet, but we'll figure it out.

I have been having a few health issues lately. Extreme case of anxiety when driving on certain interstates and roads. I have a huge fear of replaying the accident in Oklahoma. That was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me and I don't want to go through it again. The traffic here is tolerable to certain areas of Houston. But when it comes to I-45 or to rush hour - I freak out. It's literally bumper to bumper most times, and no real time to react if accidents happen. People here are idiots when it comes to driving. Me first mentality and I hate it! I see a bunch of cars stopped and I get scared. I was never like that in Kansas City. I noticed I'm a little more cautious after the accident... but seriously, after being stuck in a fire, with no vehicle, and left stranded on the interstate while no one really cares about your safety, I can't bear the thought of going through that again.

I lose my cool too much anymore. I get dizzy and lightheaded easily. Easily irritated. Frequent headaches. Frequent muscle pain. I can't sleep well anymore. I've gained weight, no energy, I even have tried watching foods, changing habits, exercising and nothing changes. Could I do more? Sure! But, I don't know. Someday I want a family - there are things in the way of that at the moment. Basically every symptom on a checklist - I have. I went to the doctor Monday, and she had blood draws and UA set up to test me for a few things, mainly hypothyroidism. That would explain a lot. She seemed pretty sure, but wanted to test to be positive. After that, I'll go in next week for another appointment to discuss results and come up with a plan. I hope that we can figure out something... I need changes... major changes in my life.

I am excited for the holidays, and going back up home. Mom planned a huge Thanksgiving lunch with Stephanie, Tim, Bryson, my biological father Kenton, and us. We made several pies, cornbread, and other things today and will finish the rest tomorrow.
Christmas is just around the corner, and I am so excited to decorate and get ready!

Lifestyle Changes

I made a decision to really make a big effort to try to lose weight. Sure, I've said it before... but I really need to do something now. It's getting ridiculous. I see pictures of when I was in high school or even in my early 20's - and to think that I thought I was huge then - I'd kill to be that size again! I guess after you get married, you sort of live fat and happy as the saying goes. I don't really have to impress anyone anymore, so I just do whatever. Which is sad! I should want to look good for my husband, too! I've just gotten so used to a life of convenience, I guess. Ever since we've moved to Texas, I've at least made the committment to cook more, so we would stop eating out as much. I also switched my work schedule to days now, since I accepted a new position. That seems to keep me pretty busy so I'm not bored. I eat when I get bored. It's the cure for everything. An emotional eater.

I hardly have time to sit and have dinner when I get home from work, do homework, and still try to get at least 6 hours of sleep before getting up and doing it all over. School work is suffering. I always manage to get it done before the due date, but it never gets the full attention that it did when I was working nights. I hope that doesn't last forever. Hopefully, the more I get used to the position - the easier this will become to adjust to a whole new lifestyle.

This week has been a stepping stone to greatness. (Or something like that anyway) I eat a light breakfast. I don't snack. Occassionally, if I'm really hungry - I might get a cheese stick or a 90 calorie pack. I eat lunch - usually something low fat. A lean cuisine meal, or a turkey sandwich. I cut out a lot of the soda and trying to drink mostly water. I bought "baby" cans of diet coke this week. They are 8oz cans, so that I get a little caffiene, but not a 2 liter of soda. I don't need that! We try to eat a sensible meal. Usually with more vegetables and less meat. We've cut back to turkey products, a little chicken, or 93% lean beef. I really need to incorporate more fish. J.R. isn't a big fan of seafood - so that makes it a little more difficult. I've been really good at finding recipes and making him try new things, haha.

The next big step that I need to make is to exercise more. Take the dog for a walk. He needs it, too. I am just so tired all the time now. I'll work on that!

I am really happy, I love that I'm not as hungry as I was. Staying busy makes a huge difference. We always celebrated with food when I was a kid. Birthdays, special events, congratulations, family gatherings, etc. Always revolved around food. I've got to make a committment and really stick to it.

It's November!

It's finally November. It's starting to cool down a little here. Not near what it's like back in Kansas, though. I am getting pretty excited about Christmas just around the corner. We're not going to make a trip up to Kansas for Thanksgiving. We have decided we'll just wait til Christmas, and spend some extra time up there. I'm thinking of ideas for gifts, and I've come up with a few cool ones. We'll see. I can't believe how many people I've heard say that they are already have most of their shopping done! I'm a last minute gift giver, I suppose. I should be doing this all year round! J.R. and I decided that we're going to make it a tradition every year, to go get our pictures taken for our Christmas cards. We could just use wedding pictures, but this will be more fun, haha. Grammie is back from Missouri, so Bryson came over to visit Saturday. We had a lot of fun with some new toys. I'm going to try to post a video below. He's doing well, he is crawling all over the place now! It's only a matter of time, before he walks. He jabbers like crazy, too! I am so thankful that he is doing well. This kid loves Yo Gabba Gabba. It's kind of a weird cartoon, but sometimes hilarious. I enjoy watching it even when Bryson isn't here. HA.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

I always thought it'd get easier with time. It never does. It just seems to fade away a little bit. It still feels like it's happening today. The pain and heartache never really go away, I just somehow push it aside. I have to, to be able to live my life. Sometimes, I feel guilty for doing that. I haven't forgotten. I never will. I rather hurt, than feeling nothing at all.

It hits at the weirdest moments. Things I'd never expect remind me of you. Truth be told, I never thought it'd affect me as much as it does. I still feel anger. I still feel hurt. I still feel regret and guilt. Will that ever go away?

I wish you were here. I wish you could see how much things have changed since you left us. Would you be happy to see all the changes I've made in my life? You'd laugh at Bryson. I know you'd be proud of him. He's amazing and teaches us so much in life. I wish he had the chance to know you. I wish you would have been there to walk me down the aisle like we planned. It made me so sad that you weren't there. I wish that you could see Ollie. I know you'd have fun playing with him, too. I would give anything to hear you call the cat a "zero and to get out of your way". You always said you hated that cat, but you didn't really. I wish you were here so Mom wouldn't be lonely. I hate seeing her in pain. She puts on a good front, though. Tries to pretend that she's really happy... but I know she isn't. I pushed her into moving to Texas so that she could focus on helping with Bryson. She needs to know that it's OK to be happy. We made the decision to come, too... so it'd be easier. But it hasn't been. I wouldn't say it's the worst decision we've ever made... but I don't know if it was the right decision.

I often wonder what advice you'd give me now. Would you really be proud of me now? Some days, I feel on top of the world. Little things happen, knock me down. I guess you have to fall on your face a few times, before you can really stand tall. I found a better job, although it's had its moments. I am going back to school. I bet you never thought that'd happen. Sometimes I'm not always happy with my life. I made a lot of stupid decisions in the past, but I try to strive as hard as I can to make it what I want now. You taught me that. I just wish you were here to see the person I am now.

Have you heard that song, "Only you can love me this way" by Keith Urban? You'd like it. It makes me think of you.

I talk about you a lot, it helps me. I never know when people might get sick of it, and tell me to stop. I've been doing it less and less lately.

We've become pro-active in helping with Cancer and Leukemia research. I feel that it isn't ever really enough, though. I wish you would have fought harder. Sometimes, I think you gave up way too easy. I wish I knew what all was going through your mind at the time? Why you chose certain options? Why you chose this or that? I'll never know those answers.

I wish you were here.

Battleship USS Texas!

On Sunday, since J.R.'s parents and brother were down to visit, we decided to take a little drive down to La Porte, Texas. Home of Battleship USS Texas and Monument. J.R. and his Dad were both in the Navy, and David is a history buff so this was a good idea! It was kind of cool to see all of it. Pat and I stayed behind and let the boys go on the ship. It was a beautiful day out!

The monument was huge! Surrounding it - is prairie grass! They had signs stating that they let the grass grow tall to preserve a natural state like the old days.

Just a few feet ahead, there was another sign that said to "watch out for wildlife" then we see this guy. Is that what they meant by wildlife? LOL.

J.R. and his Dad were being silly. Here is Navy Seaman J.R. and Captain Al!

Afterwards, we were kinda thirsty and put SONIC in the Garmin. It made us take the Ferry across. Which was a pretty cool experience if you've never had to do that before! The GPS was making us laugh since it showed us directly on the water.

Pat, Al, and David come to visit.

J.R.'s Dad - Al and his wife, Pat, and J.R.'s brother - David came to visit us from Lenexa, Kansas. They came in on Friday and stayed until Monday morning. We were very happy to see them! We did a lot of sight seeing. On Saturday, we went to Galveston for Oktoberfest. We weren't all that impressed, though. It ended up just being a few booths with arts and crafts, German food, Beer, and a polka band. Not a lot to the whole thing either. To the left, you'll see the German outfitted dancers, haha... and David wasn't really thrilled either.

We stopped by the beach in Galveston, walked on the beach and gathered shells, played in the sand, drove around a bit, stopped in Kemah. We ate at Landry's (Kami's favorite) right by the ocean in Galveston.

We wrote our names in the sand, and did all that goofy romantic stuff. I saw a dead crab, and picked up some cool shells. J.R. wasn't all into that, but I was! A lot of the beach and area around it, is still picking up after Hurricane IKE. We saw a truck that was on (what was left of it anyway) a pier. I wonder where it came from, how exactly it got there, and if people just gave up looking for it?

Before/After Living room

I fixed the curtains. I went and bought some new sheers, to replace the cream/beige curtains that were in the living room.




BEFORE:






















AFTER:

I kept the burnt orange/rust sheer behind, replaced the outside curtains and drape swag.

Notice Sushi behind the new curtains. "You can't see me!"

Redecorating... Part 1.

I bought my old sofa prior to moving into a new apartment in like 2007. It sits really low and is hard to get out of sometimes, so we decided to get a new sofa when we moved into our new house in Texas.

Old Sofa - Don't mind all the boxes and stuff everywhere. This was when we first were moving in.

After searching for quite awhile, I finally found a sofa that I really liked at a furniture store in Clear Lake. It was a completely different color and scheme but it was a good price and what I was looking for.

We ended up moving the older sofa into the master bedroom because we had room for it, and wanted sort of a sitting area near the tv in there. Might try selling it later. I felt like the rug really didn't match the color of the sofa, too much black. I was going for kind of a black and white theme with subtle cream and what not tied in when we lived in our apartment in Kansas.

We were talking about colors, and thought maybe a rust orange and other browns would fit well with this sofa. The wall is a weird tan/brown color. We found some pillows that were pretty.

Also bought a new rug to match a little better. I realize that the coffee tables don't match well - but that's another shopping trip. We're looking for an espresso colored leather ottoman. Maybe one that you can flip the top to be trays. I haven't really found one that I like yet. There was one at Target but it sits lower and was too small. This project has been ongoing... eventually we'll get there.

I also bought a new bedset at Anna's Linens. (Where I also got the smaller solid colored pillows. Got the bigger one at Big Lots). I am working on the bedroom. We finished the dining room... but those will have to be posts for later. Since, I got the new bedset and they were running a deal for light blocking curtains at Anna's - I bought chocolate colored curtains for the Master bedroom. The curtains I had in there were also light blocking curtains, that I am positive - must be defective. They don't block anything! I work overnights, so I sleep during the day. These curtains left the room bright. The new ones I got from Anna's Linens were about half the price of one panel that I got at Wal-Mart. They make the room almost pitch black. I love it! Anyway, so I thought since we're going for a browns/oranges type theme, that the older ones might work in the living room. Especially, since there were only mini blinds there. So I hung those up. Bought a double rod set and rust colored sheers to go behind with a dark brown swag. The cream is too bright. It just doesn't go. Also, we think it makes the living room too dark. I like sunshine in the common areas when I'm awake! So, here are the curtains... I know the swag looks a little weird - I am going to take it back and see if they have a longer one. I thought this would work, but it's too short.

I need some help with the curtains! I will move a set of the cream ones into the guestroom. Probably will purchase new ones. Was thinking maybe a blue (like the blue in the rug) or chocolate brown sheers. What do you think? Keep the rust sheers behind a maybe the blue or chocolate? And should I keep the swag, or leave it off?

Redecorating, trips, and the like.

I forget to blog sometimes. I think about it, then I go to do it, get sidetracked and completely forget. I apologize.

Not a lot new here, things are working out better this time around. I finally received a paycheck from my employer. I am still filing a case against them, but I still have a job. So - that part is good, I suppose. I've committed to covering Thursdays and Fridays at the hospital. I will eventually add another day in there but I am not sure about the hospital or at another lab.

J.R. has been working really long hours, and hasn't been real happy with his job. He applied at a few places, and wants to work at a dealership again. He received a call back and had an interview at a Nissan dealership in Stafford. He was told he would be hired, they are just waiting on results for background, drug test, etc. It will be a pay-cut, but he will be working 40 hours. With the job he is at presently - he was "there"60 hours a week and only getting paid flag hours - so barely hitting 32 hrs sometimes. So this will work out a little better, we hope. Only time will tell.

My classes are going well. I was kind of worried about my contemporary business communication class. I guess I thought it might be boring. So far - I LOVE it. This is mostly set up online, so I can log on when it's convenient for me. I've written a couple papers for this class, and received a "Substantive" stamp on both of the assignments. Which makes me feel awesome! It means I have found something I can excel in, while I know that might sound kinda silly to others - it's just weird to me that something I thought I'd have no real interest in, just happens to go well.

It's been super rainy here lately. Our backyard is definitely looking awful. It's so wet, so it's muddy and sloshy in spots where it downpours off the hot tub hut and the shed. It has ruined the grass and the ants are worse than ever. I am not sure what we are going to do about it. We've come up with a couple plans. The biggest one that everyone has voted on so far, was to put cement blocks like a walkway around the little hut. That way - the rain hits off something else other than the same spot all the time. I am not sure if it'll work, so we're looking at all options.

Bryson goes back to the hospital for a little stay coming up soon. He has made so much progress with the physical therapy, that we hope this round of chemo won't take that away from him. He has worked so hard! He received his ankle braces this week, finally. He was able to stand with a little help for the first time! We are really excited that with some more work, he'll be able to bear weight on his hips and ankles so that he'll crawl or walk. Poor little guy has been through so much, but he is quite the trooper. He sure knows how to make his Aunt's heart melt.

J.R.'s Dad - Al, Stepmom - Pat, and brother - David are coming to visit us next weekend. We are really excited about that. They will be our first houseguests since moving down here. Well, Aunt Marsha helped us move and she stayed a couple nights, but since then we haven't had anyone. We've got a couple little trips planned. Hopefully to NASA at Al's request, and to Kemah Boardwalk and Galveston. Not sure what else.

We are planning on coming up for the holidays, just have to work all the details out. We sure do miss home, but getting acquainted with a new life in Texas. I've been decorating a lot. We got some new things for the living room. New rug, new pillows, put up curtains, etc. Since we bought a new sofa, the decor didn't match the new as well as it did the old. So I had to buy new things to match! haha. It's a lot of fun to be able to do that.

Well that's pretty much all that's going on here... til next time.

No new pics to post

I decided to write a blog without any pictures! Ah! I know, right?

Things are going... well they are going. I've been at my job for a month now. I really enjoy working at the hospital. It's very laid-back. I pretty much have a whole floor to myself. I am not micro-managed. But however, I have not received a paycheck. They are "staggering payroll due to low collections". I filed a report with the Texas Workforce Commission. I am not sure how much longer I will be with this company if this keeps up. I have started to look for something else. I am very sad about the thought of having to change jobs. But, I've got bills to pay. I can't work for free.

That being said... Baylor College of Medicine called me! I had an interview with them on Monday. I was told they'd call me. I don't know - I haven't had anyone say that in awhile - so I think it might possibly mean it's a no go. We shall see.

I start college (again) in October. I am super excited about that. I waited too long. But life is finally at a point where I can actually go and be worth a squat. Each class is 8 weeks long. Most of it will be online, due to my profession. I am taking a lot of general education courses to get out the way first.

J.R. is testing out for his job, he wants to get that done asap so he can get a raise. He did pass his State Inspection License test.

I have been having trouble getting my car registered here. It's been a mess! I didn't get it registered in Kansas before leaving, I keep getting the run around from everyone I call. A lady at a local license office today was a rip. She said that I would have to get a title from Kansas to do anything here, I told her I didn't have one, and they sent me to her. She said, normally when people move they have a title from another state or have registered it in the other state. (Slam #1). I said, well I didn't - I have all the papers from the dealership, I just want to be able to register it here, so what would be my next step. She got mad at me and said well I'm not from Kansas so I don't know. So I said - any person that is from out of state comes to you, what would you suggest? She yelled at me saying You're not from Texas, I don't know. I told her that I keep getting the run around from everyone, no one can tell me the answer - is there anyone I can speak to that might know? I have tried talking to Ks dept of rev, I talked to the local license office, filed for a transfer of title, and was sent to this office. She said Right, uh huh ok with an attitude so I hung up! What is with these people and why can't anyone seem to help me?
I called the finance company that I finance the car through, and she said that since the car has a lien on it, The state of KS won't release a title to me. My sales papers should work. The only thing she knew to do was to pay off the car now or come back to KS to register it. Seriously?!?

Ugh.
So who knows what's going to happen in the next few weeks. I am so frustrated.

Bryson

Bryson comes over to visit about twice a week, sometimes more. We love being so close, that it is finally possible. He is so much fun! He is doing pretty good right now. He is still going in for clinic to get his counts checked and make sure he doesn't need platelets or blood transfusions. Right now, he is finally at a point where there will be 7 weeks between next hospital stay. Hooray!!!

One Month Later

It's been about a month since I've updated. I wrote a blog, it sounded dumb, so here's another go at it.

We're finally in Houston, and getting settled. What a long trip that was! We had to make a couple trips in order to get everything down here, and also had to go up because my Mom had an auction and sold her house to move to Houston, too. U-Hauls are quite entertaining, no matter what way you look at it. I was totally not looking forward to a long drive in a big truck with a crazy driver... but I survived and actually had fun? Whaaaaat?

We're very excited to be in our first home together. It is so much fun being able to decorate (with no limits) and have special projects. We've got a list ready, and so far only tackled a couple. This week, we worked on the master bathroom. We had to have a plumber come fix the faucets. It was done incorrectly and put on backwards. It is sooo nice to be able to take a shower now without it being super cold or really, really hot.

The next project was to get the hot tub going. That's been a lot of fun, and luckily we've had some experience with helping get pools ready... so we knew kinda what to do. We achieved the perfect levels, how awesome is that? (For first timers, anyway...)

Ollie is now 7 months old... he is getting HUGE. He is outgrowing his kennel, so we've been working on training slowly so we can let him out and eventually lose the kennel (hoping). We had to leave him at a dog boarding kennel during the second visit back to Kansas/Missouri. We weren't very happy, but felt it would be better for him than to make him endure another long road trip, plus we really didn't have room. We found a pretty good place out in Pasadena, with a little old lady that looks/acts just like the grandma with Tweety Bird. Haha. She was great with him, and loved him. So we feel confident if we ever have to do that again, we've got a place we can trust.

Sushi is adjusting well. He has lots of windows to look out and sunbathe in. He still has some anxiety whenever we're gone, and is quite vocal.

We are all loving the new house and are adjusting to a new life. Can't wait to see what else is in store.

Houston here we come!

Planning and packing... ugh I'm exhausted.

We are packing up the house all week, and will be moving the majority of things this weekend. We are so excited about starting our new life! A little apprehensive about adjusting to a new city, but I truly believe we will thrive well there. I am going to post a few pictures of the house that were taken prior the move. Will post more once we move in! Got the utilities set up today, and we should be in by the weekend.

We're finally married!

We got married Saturday - July 4th. It was absolutely beautiful! We had such an awesome day, and have some of the best friends and family a couple could ask for. A few things I would have changed, such as spending so much time taking pics, and not enough time with our guests - and the food! We should have made it MORE clear that it was ok to go ahead and eat. But, I think the pictures will be amazing, and I can't change that now. lol.

We were so afraid that it was going to rain, but it did just early in the morning, and it was a bit cloudy, but the rest of the day - the weather was beautiful.

The ceremony was sweet, the songs seemed to last entirely too long, but they were memorable pieces of our relationship. It was nice to see our family and friends. A lot of my family and friends didn't come. Which kinda makes you sad, but I am glad that we had a smaller group of people. Just hopefully, none were too offended about the food and what not.

Assumptions, Speculations = Stress

I am the definition of Stressed right now. I am really tired of people speculating or assuming they know what's going on in my life. If you don't know - ask. It's really that simple. Don't make assumptions or speculations, they are usually wrong. I finally had a night to sleep some and catch up, then I find out I was expected to be somewhere - no one told me. How am I supposed to know if no one says anything? Sigh.

I am ready for this stress stuff to be over with! I know it's only going to get worse now until the wedding is over and move is complete.

Lots of big plans this weekend, this is my last weekend off before the wedding. Tomorrow, I have to go up to Bethany and Princeton. Got a few errands up there to run. Then coming back to paint and clean. My bridal shower luncheon is on Saturday. Father's Day with J.R.'s Dad on Sunday and the family. J.R. has a doctor appt, we have another session of premarital counseling on Monday... Whew! Not to mention, that I have some more things to get taken care of as far as ordering flowers and getting some other things for the wedding.

I still need to get boxes and get to packing. Should make a run to Salvation Army this weekend sometime to drop off all the donation stuff I will be giving. A lot of things we have to get rid of probably wouldn't be worth trying to sell, not enough time....

We shall see how it all goes.

I forgot to mention...

So lately, I have been super emotional about basically EVERYTHING.

It really doesn't matter if it's good or bad, happy or sad... I cry. It's ridiculous. I don't know where this is all coming from, sometimes I wonder if I just need a really good cry and then it'll all be ok!

We saw a band in concert over the weekend, after the Royals game. MercyMe. I've seen them several times since I was a teenager. They are a very awesome Christian band. I don't know what it is about when someone speaks, especially if you aren't expecting it - all they have to mention is a specific word or something along the same lines of things you are going through... and BAM here come the tears. What's up with that?!

One specific part of the concert, the lead singer started to speak about how he lost his father to cancer. It's easy to get caught up in the moments, get caught up in life - when it's EASY. How true is that?! It's when it's hard - that's when you have trouble. You forget to be thankful, you forget to remember the good, you only focus on the bad... and I cannot tell you how many times, I've totally been guilty of just that!

I've fallen way hard away from my faith. It's a very surreal experience when you feel something (especially, when you are not sure what that something is.) I've been forgetting about all the good in my life. I've been crying, asking why, and feeling awful. I never understood, and probably never will understand why my family has been through so much and still continues to go through a lot. I've said this before, and I'll say it again... that saying - Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger... whoever thought that up must have had that epiphany while going through a lot of crap. I can't say that makes me feel better... but what I can say is... I think I'm starting to find the path that I fell away from. I am not going to preach on to someone else... if you wanna hear it, I'll tell you about it. I hope everything falls into place for everyone. I am not shy about this, I am not shunning anyone away from God... I want to be respectful of all feelings- but this weekend really spoke to me.

I've spent far too much time away. Isn't it crazy how the one person you never thought would REALLY complete you... ends up being the one you may have underestimated. He is the most amazing person in my life. He loves me unconditionally, he strives to be a better man for me, he's shown me more compassion than any other person I've come into contact with in all my life, he's lead me to where I belong. He led me back to faith, back to God...I can't wait to be his wife.
We fight, we bicker, we annoy each other... but really, I made the best decision I ever could have when I answered yes when he asked me to marry him.

Got a lot accomplished today

Today was busy!
I woke up and got ready for the day. J.R. is normally off on Mondays - but due to his back hurting, he called in last week. He decided to make up some hours today. He came home around noon, though. We had lots of things to do today!
Kim and Mary came over at 12:30pm. Kim bought my kitchen table/island set for her new apartment. We decided we wanted to get a new set when we move to Texas. Also debating about getting rid of the sofa that we have. Got it all loaded into Mary's wagon (hehe) and our cars (to carry the chairs) and headed over to Kim's to deliver the goods.
We then went out for a late lunch at Chili's - all together. Had some very good food.
Then rushed over to Panera Bread on 119th to meet with the photographer to make a payment by 445pm. Did a little shopping at Old Navy's men's half off sale. J.R. needed some new shorts and shirts. Then we ran over to Men's wearhouse, got J.R.'s Tuxedo for the wedding. I was pretty impressed that we got everything the exact colors I was hoping for. It wasn't too bad in price either, so was happy with that. Check that one off the list, finally. We ran some other little errands. Went over to J.R.'s Dad's to see if they needed any help - although we were later in the evening, didn't get anything done really other than talking. Maybe next time?! Have plans for things later this week and weekend. My bridal shower is on Saturday. I am pretty excited about that, although, a little nervous. Haven't seen the family in awhile and a lot of my side aren't able to come.
Been getting songs for the mp3 player for the wedding, and J.R. is asleep in the recliner... snoozing away. I am about to call it a day as well. I work the next two days and then off for the weekend, hooray! We have just a little over two weeks before our wedding.

Can't believe it's so soon. We have been running ourselves ragged! Sometimes I forget what day it is. Pretty crazy, but have been busy and gotta get everything done. Haven't even started packing, yikes!

When I was cleaning off the table last night, didn't realize how much stuff accumulated on top of it... got in the cleaning mood. Even J.R. helped! He cleaned the living room, looks so nice - while I cleaned the dining room and kitchen. I have been clearing through stuff, I don't even really think I'll hassle with a lot of it. Bigger items to sell - but the rest is going to Goodwill.

I think I have the perfect song for me to walk down the aisle to, which I am super excited about... it's one of my favorite songs from a movie :-) I still have several ideas, I am not 100% sold on it, though. So who knows...

I ramble too much.... I really should get to bed.

Weekend

Bryson went for his regular chemo session and lumbar puncture tests this week. He was admitted to the ER today for a fever. Later, moved to ICU due to fever and dropping blood pressure. Sure do worry about the little guy. Hasn't felt good this week. Hope he gets better. Contemplating a trip down soon. I did, however, give my final notice to work today. My last working day will be the 7th/8th of July. We need to start packing up the house, get boxes, etc. I hope we can get it done in time. We are supposed to get possession of the house by the 6th. So thinking of moving the 2nd weekend of July. I am anxious, also nervous... but relieved for a new chapter in our lives. We both plan on working the same type of jobs, both have leads, so its looking good for us. We are excited.

Tonight, I am supposed to have a cake decorating class with some friends. That should be a lot of fun! Tomorrow, church and royals game. Should be fun too... Don't know about it all though. May make a trip. We'll see.

The dog has been crazy this morning already. I took his dish out of the kennel because he tends to play with it a lot and tear the rubber edge off. He ran out and knocked a candle holder off the bookcase, and then preceeded to try to eat the candle out of it and then jumped on the sofa! Needless to say, he was scolded and put back in the kennel. Sometimes I feel like the unloved parent, because he is always crazy/misbehaved when I have him in the mornings... maybe its from being in the kennel all night, I don't know. Sushi the cat is a little crazy this morning, too.

Blog numero uno

Just to get a little start on the blog, I am going to write about this week's events. Who knows if anyone will actually read this stuff. I used to blog all the time, so I decided that I would start up again. We're planning a wedding (on a holiday, no less) and a big move in July. I am not sure what really made us decide to really complicate and stress our lives to the limit, but hey, it might be fun? I kid... I am really excited about this upcoming wedding. Originally, we had planned for October. We found out in March that my nephew, Bryson has leukemia. My Dad passed away in June, now with Bryson's illness - our family just really needs to pull together and be there for each other. J.R. and I decided the best way to deal with all of that is to pack up and move to Houston. We will be there for my Mom, for my brother and his girlfriend and our nephew. Since we decided to make this move in July - kind of figured whats the point of getting married in October, we'd have to come back for that... I came across the idea of a July 4th wedding. J.R. really liked the idea, so we ran with it! I can't wait for the day to get here! It's about 22 days away, and I tell you - stress?! ha, look up the definition - you'll see a picture of our smiling faces.

We met up with our photographer for the wedding today. Her name is Jeni. We met, signed the contract, and went over things. I am super excited, she seems to be a perfect fit for us. Not to mention, the beautiful work that she does.

J.R. hurt his back yesterday, woke up with it hurting. I am pretty sure he did something to it at work and probably didn't realize and sleeping on his back probably didn't help. Poor guy. He called in today and he never does that!! While we were at his Dad's house, he used "Jiggling George" - its this crazy contraption, that you put your hips/butt onto and your legs/ankles go onto another part and it jiggles your body. It's supposed to jiggle out all your kinks and make you feel better... we shall see later this morning if it helped or not.

I have to go back to work this weekend, which I'm absolutely thrilled about. It just seems like there are never enough days off, or time to get things done. I guess I am lucky that I really only have to work 3-4 days a week. I work overnights usually a 12 hour shift, but often ends up being 13,14,15,16 hour shifts... I like my job most days, but with the wedding planning, and moving... YIKES!! I really haven't even started packing up the house yet. I've gone through things - deciding what to keep and what not to keep... but that's about it. I am selling my kitchen table and island. And possibly (well I'm debating, rather...) or not to sell the sofa.

We got a house in Houston. It's 3 bedrooms, and 2 baths. Fenced in yard for our dog, and a hot tub! We are really excited about OUR first house! The dog is a 6 month old golden doodle. (golden retriever/poodle). His name is Oliver, but we call him Ollie. He is a very smart, cute, playful guy. However, our 6 year old siamese tomcat, Sushi, isn't real fond of him. They harass each other. Usually Ollie rolls Sushi across the floor trying to play with him... and then later Sushi will walk in front of Ollie's kennel meowing - more or less "ha ha, I'm out, you're not" So it's hard to feel sorry for the cat when they play.

I should close, as it's late - I am a night owl, but am getting sleepy.

I will continue to blog about our adventures and all with the wedding planning, moving, and our life of course. I will warn, though... I am a very blunt person. I will say whatever I think and feel. I am not going to sugarcoat anything. I am posting this on the web, so comments will be made. But, That's how it goes... Doesn't mean that we will listen, doesn't mean we will skip subjects or not blog about things that upset us, etc. So be prepared - as we will prepare ourselves for whatever may arise with doing so.

Thanks for stopping by, hope you continue to do so! :-)