I forgot to mention...

So lately, I have been super emotional about basically EVERYTHING.

It really doesn't matter if it's good or bad, happy or sad... I cry. It's ridiculous. I don't know where this is all coming from, sometimes I wonder if I just need a really good cry and then it'll all be ok!

We saw a band in concert over the weekend, after the Royals game. MercyMe. I've seen them several times since I was a teenager. They are a very awesome Christian band. I don't know what it is about when someone speaks, especially if you aren't expecting it - all they have to mention is a specific word or something along the same lines of things you are going through... and BAM here come the tears. What's up with that?!

One specific part of the concert, the lead singer started to speak about how he lost his father to cancer. It's easy to get caught up in the moments, get caught up in life - when it's EASY. How true is that?! It's when it's hard - that's when you have trouble. You forget to be thankful, you forget to remember the good, you only focus on the bad... and I cannot tell you how many times, I've totally been guilty of just that!

I've fallen way hard away from my faith. It's a very surreal experience when you feel something (especially, when you are not sure what that something is.) I've been forgetting about all the good in my life. I've been crying, asking why, and feeling awful. I never understood, and probably never will understand why my family has been through so much and still continues to go through a lot. I've said this before, and I'll say it again... that saying - Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger... whoever thought that up must have had that epiphany while going through a lot of crap. I can't say that makes me feel better... but what I can say is... I think I'm starting to find the path that I fell away from. I am not going to preach on to someone else... if you wanna hear it, I'll tell you about it. I hope everything falls into place for everyone. I am not shy about this, I am not shunning anyone away from God... I want to be respectful of all feelings- but this weekend really spoke to me.

I've spent far too much time away. Isn't it crazy how the one person you never thought would REALLY complete you... ends up being the one you may have underestimated. He is the most amazing person in my life. He loves me unconditionally, he strives to be a better man for me, he's shown me more compassion than any other person I've come into contact with in all my life, he's lead me to where I belong. He led me back to faith, back to God...I can't wait to be his wife.
We fight, we bicker, we annoy each other... but really, I made the best decision I ever could have when I answered yes when he asked me to marry him.